Dear Ramona, thank you for taking the time to answer a few questions about preparing for breastfeeding and starting breastfeeding. You are a breastfeeding and family counselor, educator and mother of four breastfed children yourself. And you give non-dogmatic advice on the subject of breastfeeding, not breastfeeding and weaning, which we love, of course.
Today we're going to talk about preparing for breastfeeding and those very first hours and days in the hospital. But let's really start at the beginning and ask the question of all questions: is there any way I can prepare myself physically and mentally for breastfeeding? And if so, HOW?!
The answer is quite clear: yes and no.
So no in the sense of: please don't do any brush massages or towel rubbing to harden the nipples or anything like that. That's absolute rubbish, old news and even dangerous in that it can injure the nipples and increase the risk of infection. Physically, you can't and don't have to do anything. You can, if that's possible for you, take care of your body, eat a balanced diet, drink enough, exercise - but that's about it.
However, I have a clear YES for mental preparation. For me, this includes talking to other (ex-)breastfeeders, which could be friends or you could visit a breastfeeding café. You can read breastfeeding stories and get general information and acquire knowledge to have a certain basis. Whether through books or a breastfeeding preparation course. I think this is important because the sentence I hear most often in postpartum consultations is: "If only I had known that before." Or: "Nobody told me that." Many people also think that they will get a lot of advice on starting breastfeeding in the hospital or from their midwife. And then they find out the hard way that there is often no time in the hospital, the breastfeeding consultant is only there on Wednesdays between 12 and 1 p.m., not all specialists are up to date with their breastfeeding knowledge and not every midwife is automatically a breastfeeding consultant.
From my many years of experience, I am very sure that many initial breastfeeding problems would not arise or would be less dramatic if people had a little more knowledge of their own bodies. This includes topics such as "How does milk production actually work?", "How does milk increase?", "Why does my child drink so often?" and "Should it hurt or not?". And yet: no course or book in the world will protect you 100% from breastfeeding problems. Because every breastfeeding relationship is so individual and nobody knows which person will be born and under what circumstances. The postpartum period is such a tough time, and then the first moments of breastfeeding also occur. That can be overwhelming. Then it is good to have some basics and hacks ready, a breastfeeding consultant on speed dial and to know where I can look up reliable information.
And then of course there is the practical preparation : you can prepare a "breastfeeding throne" (or simply an armchair ;)), get pillows and blankets ready, get snacks and a practical water bottle, if necessary get a stool for the feet ready, get suitable nursing bras and button-up tops, have nursing pads and burp cloths at home.
OK, I'll say this: physical preparation: no, mental preparation and dealing with the topic: absolutely. With all the "knowledge" floating around about breastfeeding, there are always a few persistent myths. Tell me: what are your three favorite myths about breastfeeding?
Breastfeeding is natural.
It is not. Breastfeeding is a socially learned skill and that is also the reason why it is often so difficult for us today. Because we no longer sit around the fire with lots of other women and breastfeed together, and see breastfeeding breasts and different techniques every day. That is a good thing for a number of reasons (i.e. that we no longer live in the Setin era), but it does make breastfeeding a little more challenging in some parts and it makes it all the more important to talk about it.
Breastfeeding hurts/doesn't hurt.
Sure, you might feel some pain when you first suck it in, it might pinch and tingle a bit. But anything that you would classify as "pain" (and this is about your individual pain perception!) shouldn't be like that.
No cabbage, no onions, no garlic otherwise the baby will explode.
No, no, no. Milk is made from blood, not from the contents of your stomach. No study in the world has been able to prove that foods cause gas in your child. The gas is more likely to be caused by the baby's still developing intestines and cannot be influenced by you.
The breast must be drunk empty.
Even if it sometimes feels that way: breasts cannot be emptied because new milk is already being produced during breastfeeding.
Sparkling wine for the milk.
It's hard to believe, but this myth is quite persistent (surprisingly, especially among mothers-in-law). And of course it's not true. Quite apart from the fact that alcohol passes directly from the blood into breast milk, the consumption of alcoholic beverages and other drugs can actually have a negative effect on milk production.
If we now imagine that we are still lying in the delivery room, the baby has just been placed on our chest and is about to be fed for the first time - what can go wrong here (and how can we perhaps prevent it)?
It all starts with the breastfeeding - a healthy, mature newborn does not need to be breastfed, it actually finds its way to the breast all by itself. This so-called "breast crawl" happens completely naturally: we are mammals and the baby looks for its milk source. If that can happen on its own, great. And if not? It's not the end of the world either! Then we breastfeed. It would be nice if we knew how to do that and ideally had seen it before in a course or at a breastfeeding meeting - we already discussed that above.
What should definitely not happen: a medical professional takes the breast and puts it in your baby's mouth. This is overstepping boundaries, intrusive and unnecessary. Trained staff can explain it in such a way that the breastfeeding mother can manage it herself. In this context, I advise all pregnant women: Make a birth plan that also includes your wishes regarding breastfeeding: I want to breastfeed. I want to avoid bottle feeding. I don't want a pacifier. I don't want to breastfeed. It is important to me that I can breastfeed immediately. Such a plan is particularly important if, for example, mother and child are separated.
Unfortunately, we often hear mediocre stories from the first few days in the hospital: people who touch breasts without asking and push them into babies' mouths, little advice, pain ignored - what advice do you give to women giving birth and how can they get concrete help?
If someone touches you without asking: say stop! It's your body, you decide. Even if they ask first, but you find it uncomfortable - say stop! I hear it so often in consultations and then that the women don't dare to say anything and think that's just how it is. They just have to get on with it. But no! Absolutely not!
At least as important: If you are in pain, please do not let them fob you off. I also hear doctors saying again and again: It's just part of it. NO! Nobody has to or should endure pain. We know from other areas that this is counterproductive because we adopt protective postures, put the wrong strain on the baby, etc. It's the same with breastfeeding: for example, if I am in pain or even afraid of the next time I breastfeed, I tense up. Then it hurts even more, I have muscle tension in my neck and torso, and breastfeeding becomes more and more difficult. There are painkillers that are compatible with breastfeeding, and you must not be denied them. If you are in pain, ask for medication and for sound advice. Insist that a lactation consultant comes or that your own can come if you are still in the hospital. And if you are already at home, get a lactation consultant there or get advice online, which many lactation consultants now offer (including me :)).
What would you like to say to all pregnant readers about preparing for/starting breastfeeding?
Breathe. Nothing is as hot as it is cooked.
If someone says: you have to supplement your baby's milk, your milk isn't enough, this isn't going to work - or: you can't breastfeed with these breasts anyway - then I always advise you to take a deep breath. Then: organize help and talk to the midwife or a breastfeeding consultant. Because most of the time there is no immediate danger, we can think things over first and not decide anything within five minutes.
There are fewer rules when it comes to breastfeeding than is generally believed.
Breastfeed on demand, whenever your baby asks for the breast. There is no time limit, no minimum or maximum interval, and no need to alternate breasts.
And if something seems strange or too dogmatic (no matter in which direction or from whom): get a second opinion. Because every breastfeeding relationship is unique and it's about finding your own way.
