Birth is crazy – postpartum is crazier?
Well, not always, of course. But in the first days, weeks and months after your pregnancy, some real surprises await you. And although so many women experience this, hardly anyone talks about it. We want to change that, because we think that the first few weeks with a child deserve at least as much attention as the pregnancy and birth itself. If everyone only tells you about their urine samples, epidurals and birth processes, we'll take over the postpartum part. Let's get started:
1. Everything flows: tears, milk, urine and blood
After giving birth, a lot of fluids flow out of your body - and that's completely normal. Especially in the first few days, you'll cry a lot (also known as baby blues or crying days). This isn't just due to the hormonal changes, but also to the exhaustion from giving birth and the new life. The milk often comes within the first three to five days after the milk comes in and can sometimes flow like a waterfall (this varies from woman to woman, so don't be alarmed if you don't get a "milk fountain"). Important information: Even before the milk comes in, you're already producing milk, known as colostrum. Urine can sometimes not be held in well after the birth because of the strain on the pelvic floor; this affects around 30-50% of all women giving birth. This can also lead to uncontrolled discharge. The thick postpartum pads catch small amounts, and a towel or a wetness protection in bed can also be helpful in the first few days. And blood - yes, that too. The lochia is caused by the wound that the placenta leaves in your uterus. Immediately after birth, this wound is about the size of your palm and heals during the postpartum period. As soon as it has healed, the lochia also stops.
2. Your stomach feels like the organs are tumbling around inside
After birth, your uterus is still quite large, everything is a bit swollen (inside and out), and your organs, which were displaced during pregnancy, are sorting themselves back into place. The pelvic floor can also be put under a lot of strain after birth and will certainly not immediately become as firm as it was before pregnancy. This "emptiness" feeling in your abdomen is also due to the fact that the pelvic floor is a layer of muscle that "seals" your pelvis at the bottom and holds the organs in place. In the first few days after birth, your uterus performs a small miracle: within a few days, it contracts and gets smaller and smaller. In the process, it closes the wound left by the placenta and after just a few days, it can no longer be felt behind the pubic bone. To support the uterus's recovery, you can spend a few minutes a day lying on your stomach, perhaps with a rolled-up towel under your lower abdomen.
3. In the first period after birth, you may sometimes have difficulty holding urine (and stool)
As already mentioned, around 30-50% of women have difficulty holding urine - and sometimes stool - after giving birth. This is due to the strain on the pelvic floor muscles, which surround the vagina, urethra and rectum and are responsible for continence. This can range from "not realizing that the bladder is full" to "I notice that I have to go, but I can't make it to the toilet." For many people, continence regulates itself in the first few days or weeks, for others it improves as soon as they start doing pelvic floor exercises. If all measures do not help, you can always contact your midwife or gynaecologist: there are specialised physiotherapists and osteopaths who can help you.
4. It is completely normal not to melt with love when you have a newborn
Difficult feelings in the postpartum period are completely normal! Even if the media and friends often give the impression that the first period after birth is all rosy, it is completely normal to feel stressed and annoyed by your baby, helpless or even wistfully missing your old life. The hormones in your body are on a rollercoaster and are making the feelings even stronger. Don't let yourself be unsettled: the arrival of a new family member often brings with it a lot of change. Time, peace and quiet and maybe even the odd therapy session can help your family to find a new balance.
5. Breastfeeding usually doesn’t work “just like that”
Your environment, Instagram, TikTok & Co. often give a different impression, but breastfeeding is not an innate ability - it is a social skill that you and your child have to learn first. Therefore, it is normal if it does not go smoothly from the beginning and you need support with the correct latching technique. What is not okay: Pain in the breasts, bloody nipples or strong negative feelings when breastfeeding. Sure, a certain feeling of irritation in the nipples is normal and the milk coming in can be painful. But if you feel like you have to "grit through" or "hold out", that is an alarm signal. You decide what works for you - regardless of whether you want to supplement, pump or resort to other breastfeeding methods.
6. In the first few days, large and solid pieces of blood come out, the so-called clots
A frightening moment for many women giving birth: In the first few days after birth, large, liver-like pieces can come out of you. These so-called "coagula" are pieces of clotted blood that flow out of your uterus during the lochia. If you lie down a lot, the blood can collect in the vagina and clot there. However, if you lose a lot of liquid blood in gushes, please contact your midwife, gynecologist or the nearest hospital.
7. You fart – uncontrollably and often
We've already mentioned the pelvic floor, and it plays an important role after birth. It controls not only urine and stool, but also farting. After a natural birth, the pelvic floor is often overstretched, making it difficult to control flatulence. This means you fart more often, especially when laughing, crying, coughing, or standing up. Flatulence is also common after a cesarean section, but here it comes not from the pelvic floor, but from the abdominal surgery itself.
8. Your gut feeling is your superpower
During your pregnancy, you probably received unsolicited advice from all sides. Everyone knows how to deal with your breastfeeding challenges, what is helpful for sleep and how long babies should be carried. The good thing about it: you decide for yourself what is right for you and your family. There are countless ways to feed, change diapers and organize your life - do your own thing!
9. After three to four months, hair sometimes falls out – a lot of hair
Your hormones go crazy after giving birth, and the estrogen you had in high amounts during pregnancy won't return in the same strength. This can lead to hair loss. This postpartum effluvium can seem severe, but in most cases, once hormone levels stabilize and menstruation returns, hair loss will stop - and hair will grow back.
10. Your vagina may be swollen and feel sore, but often heals quickly
Thankfully, birth injuries are becoming more widely discussed, but many people don't realize that the vulva and vagina can feel sore and swollen after birth even without a perineal tear or incision. This swelling is the result of the great stretching during natural birth. Abrasions can also occur when your baby's head and body rub against the vaginal and vulva walls. These injuries usually heal quickly and without complications.
11. It can be difficult not to forget yourself
The postpartum period can be challenging: suddenly there is this little being that demands all your attention. It is important that you do not forget about yourself. Your diet plays a crucial role because you need energy and nutrients to be able to care for your baby. Before the birth, think about which meals you can prepare - be it by freezing meals or having food delivered.
12. Orgasms can be “different” than before pregnancy
Some people experience a more intense feeling of pleasure after giving birth, others find that they are less able to climax or that they can no longer achieve it. This is not abnormal. The body's recovery is a process that takes time. If you are having difficulties, contact your midwife or gynecologist.
13. You sweat like crazy after giving birth
During the postpartum period, there is a sharp drop in the hormone progesterone, which helped to dilate your blood vessels during pregnancy. As progesterone drops, the vessels constrict again and excess fluid is returned from your tissues into the blood. This large amount of fluid is flushed out mainly through two bodily functions: heavy sweating and frequent urination. It is not uncommon for new mothers to sweat so much that they have to change their clothes several times during the night - this is completely normal. If you have difficulty properly recognizing your urge to urinate, we recommend going to the toilet regularly even when you do not feel the urge to urinate to avoid urine buildup due to increased urine production.
14. All feelings are okay
After giving birth, many mothers can initially feel lonely, especially once the first visits from friends and relatives have passed. While this time is full of happy moments and gifts, the sudden lack of visitors and your partner's return to work can lead to a feeling of isolation. You then spend a lot of time with your little baby, who demands a lot but is not yet able to give much back. Loneliness can also arise within the partnership, as you get used to the new family dynamic and may not have enough time to calmly discuss conflicts. Even if we cannot take away this loneliness, we want to assure you: you are not alone and this phase too will pass. We promise!
15. You can decide that you do NOT want to have visitors during the postpartum period
After you've announced your pregnancy, your mother-in-law may have already signed up for her place at the birth. However, you have the right to decide how much visitors you want in the first few weeks after the birth. You can tell friends and family that you need time to yourself after the birth to settle in. How long this period lasts - whether it's two hours, two days, two weeks or even two months - is entirely up to you. It's absolutely fine!
Conclusion
The postpartum period is a time of change that brings with it many physical and emotional challenges. It is important to talk about real experiences to clarify expectations for the postpartum period. Every woman is unique and there is no "right" or "wrong" during this time. Make sure you get the support you need and listen to your gut - it is your best guide!
